In my last newsletter, (go to http://www.bridgeworkscoaching.ca/ for sign up), I spoke about sitting in a trough of energy. A place where nothing happens and you can't see what's coming. It's a place I don't do well! Interesting too were some of the reactions. A good number of folks identified with this and shared how they ride it out. Others though were concerned, worried that I was in a too deep funk. All comments were appreciated.
Siting and marinating in this 'no-thing' time allowed me to see I had placed myself in the mental trap of persistence. To keep going in a set direction at all costs. Persistence has a doggedness, moral imperative that we finish what we start. Even when the original reason has evaporated. The act of beginning binding us to continue no matter what. We put ourselves in a leg hold trap of our own choosing. This is in contrast to perseverance. To pursue our aims despite obstacles has a very different feel. There is a clear headedness to perseverance. An occasional stepping back to course correct.
When I caught myself in this persistent thinking, I realized the word insistent is in someway embedded in it. My body should have been a pretty strong indicator being wound tightly. My posture pitched forward both walking and sitting. This influenced my thinking narrow down a most linear path. A + B = C. As you may have experienced this is not creative or fun!
So back off I did. Indulged an 'only just before bed' love of reading. Gave myself permission to read some mystery novels. Inhaled 7 of them actually. Can't remember the last time I did such a thing. When I felt sated and wonderful thing happened. My energy came back. A more discerning energy that looked at my 'to-do' lists, general direction with kinder eyes. A number of personal items that have been dragging on are now finished or in the final stages. Other things have morphed into something I actually want to do - without a need for a certain result. Others no longer matter.
In persistent mode all thing felt like they had equal weighting. Required equal attention. This took tons of energy keeping all those balls afloat. I was tired and didn't recognize it at first. A mental vacation was what I needed to see the mental trap I was in.