Connecting The Dots

Discussing the threads of my own passions which have culminated in my work as coach, mentor, presenter in my own business.

From yesterday's conversation

Mary Johnson - Friday, January 18, 2019

Had a marvellous conversation yesterday with a dear and very long time friend. She had read my previous blog Seeking and finding delicious and had a caution for me. 'Be careful when you open yourself up, make yourself vulnerable, you may get sick. I did.' Hmm this rather took me back. Eleanor is one of the most 'there's a way to resolve this' kinda gal I know. Her saying this wasn't proposing that sickness would happen. It was just a heads up not to be surprised at what does indeed appear. 

My immediate counter was that perhaps her illness was always there ticking along below the radar. Or not. She has had a hectic couple of years of Board work, grand babies, planning a wedding, etc. There are many of us who completely miss the niggles and hints that our life's are out of sync. Certainly it's been the case with me a couple of times. My friend admits to being on a learning curve with this one. She has no choice.

Doing some conscious work on this time of life will no doubt bring up some unresolved muck in my life. Frankly I'm counting on it! For years I've been a follower of the philosophy of Scarlett O'Hara - I will deal with that tomorrow, .... There are a lot of tomorrows buried in my psyche. Yet I'm ready to pull out, examine, integrate and perhaps put a new perspective on my story. I believe I am more resilient now. Have a much broader perspective on the ebbs and flows of life. This puts me in a better place to welcome what shows up as I learn to sit in solitude, silence and stillness to contemplate the whole of my life - good, bad, indifferent. One of my favourite poets, Rumi, had it right.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
Some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
Who violently sweep your house
Empty of its furniture,
Still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
For some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
Meet them at the door laughing,
And invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
Because each has been sent,
As a guide from beyond.  

I suspect Eleanor and I will enjoy more delicious conversations about the guides from beyond

Seeking and finding delicious

Mary Johnson - Tuesday, January 08, 2019

Happy New Year All! Hope it's a great one for you!

Last year I felt somewhat rudderless. Usually my year has a theme. Some word or phrase or sentence that captures the essence of how I see and feel about the year ahead. The theme emerges rather organically rather than through some sort of deliberate process. I am always surprised and delighted at what shows up. Nothing came to me early or at any point during 2018. In many ways it was signalling a transition for me though I really didn't want to see that. Over a coffee, a dear friend of mine prodded me. "You've been writing a lot about letting go. Have you?" Good question! There wasn't tangible evidence that I have let go so much as aspects of my life were letting go of me. My work softened, relationships changed, people became ill, moved or died. The house got an unexpected emptying when the kids moved in this Fall. "I could never be a gypsy" was scratched off my 'never' declarations after our 7 week sojourn down east. Gypsying is rather fun!

Coming up to this year I did a check in. My energy is running low. My house is full of the new young family and, for the time being, no longer my refuge. Enthusiasms for things I've done before not really there. Clearly not a time I can push or conquer up something even if I wanted to. It was into this 'Oh dear!' space that my theme popped into my head.

"If it's not delicious, it's NO!"       

As soon as it came to me I felt this incredible sense of relief. I had given myself permission to say NO! The letting go thing I have so often alluded to was my wanting to do just this. Say NO to the things that for now feel heavy with obligation. Looking for delicious is starting to feed me. It's a being pulled toward rather than pushing way energy. And it's working! A mere 8 days into the new year and delicious has put in an appearance everyday. Sometimes several times a day. Unexpected letters, invitations to events I wouldn't have seen, good folks I haven't heard from in a while calling to get together. 

There has been a shift around saying NO. Some asks are an absolutely clear. With others it's looking for where the delicious resides. Or delaying until delicious can be felt. It's become kind of a game for me. What I know so far is that my life is taking on a slightly adventurous feel. With practice maybe even daring!! 

On my January calendar is a saying from Thich Nhat Hanh.

'Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me.' 

 May 2019 be full of your version of delicious!