Look beyond the obvious...Connecting the Dots

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A warm welcome!

Have you ever had something happen that shifted your thinking so completely? Well turning 60 did this for me. Never had a birthday bothered me. This one was different. My mom had died earlier that year and I was no longer someone’s child. Had no idea this would set me off on a new way of looking at my life.

A funnel shapeThe whole of my existence up until now was about expansion. Learning and growing up to step out into the adult world to have a career, a marriage, family, home, more education travel, acquiring of experiences and goodies. To be a productive, contributing human being. All of you have your version of this. For me life looked like this, ….. an ever expanding ‘V’

A diamond shapeAt 60 I literally felt the V turn back on itself to begin to look more like a diamond with the top of the diamond being my eventually death. It was a jarring realization. And I knew it was time to travel lighter. Mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually.

Several years later, an article on the December Years by Reb Zalman (Full name Zalman Schachter Shalomi) explained why I felt the way I had on the birthday. 60 heralds the beginning of the last third of our lives. It’s a distinct developmental stage of life and is a time of integrating whole of our lives. No wonder it felt so big!

It’s into the exploration and discovery of this time I now focus my coaching and work. If you are wanting to walk this rich and rewarding time with awareness, please give me a call.

To a joyful 3rd Act! Mary

I have had the privilege and pleasure of experiencing this unexpected insight into my own personal and professional leadership journey with Mary as my coach and mentor. Fostering the right balance in a relationship, she centers the discussion and is able to bring forward meaningful questions that drive to the heart of the subject, yet convey a wisdom that I believe is remarkable. Mary's creative approach pulled my career, home life and creative self into a collaborative journey that was transformational for me. Thank you Mary, you are the best.

Eleanor - former Dean NAIT
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Mary Johnson PCC, Bridgeworks Consulting, Edmonton Alberta

Latest Post

Catching yourself in a mental trap

Mary Johnson - Wednesday, April 18, 2018

In my last newsletter, (go to http://www.bridgeworkscoaching.ca/ for sign up), I spoke about sitting in a trough of energy. A place where nothing happens and you can't see what's coming. It's a place I don't do well! Interesting too were some of the reactions. A good number of folks identified with this and shared how they ride it out. Others though were concerned, worried that I was in a too deep funk. All comments were appreciated. 

Siting and marinating in this 'no-thing' time allowed me to see I had placed myself in the mental trap of persistence. To keep going in a set direction at all costs. Persistence has a doggedness, moral imperative that we finish what we start. Even when the original reason has evaporated. The act of beginning binding us to continue no matter what. We put ourselves in a leg hold trap of our own choosing. This is in contrast to perseverance. To pursue our aims despite obstacles has a very different feel. There is a clear headedness to perseverance. An occasional stepping back to course correct.    

When I caught myself in this persistent thinking, I realized the word insistent is in someway embedded in it. My body should have been a pretty strong indicator being wound tightly. My posture pitched forward both walking and sitting. This influenced my thinking narrow down a most linear path. A + B = C. As you may have experienced this is not creative or fun! 

So back off I did. Indulged an 'only just before bed' love of reading. Gave myself permission to read some mystery novels. Inhaled 7 of them actually. Can't remember the last time I did such a thing. When I felt sated and wonderful thing happened. My energy came back. A more discerning energy that looked at my 'to-do' lists, general direction with kinder eyes. A number of personal items that have been dragging on are now finished or in the final stages. Other things have morphed into something I actually want to do - without a need for a certain result. Others no longer matter. 

In persistent mode all thing felt like they had equal weighting. Required equal attention. This took tons of energy keeping all those balls afloat. I was tired and didn't recognize it at first. A mental vacation was what I needed to see the mental trap I was in.  

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