Look beyond the obvious...Connecting the Dots

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A warm welcome!

Have you ever had something happen that shifted your thinking so completely? Well turning 60 did this for me. Never had a birthday bothered me. This one was different. My mom had died earlier that year and I was no longer someone’s child. Had no idea this would set me off on a new way of looking at my life.

A funnel shapeThe whole of my existence up until now was about expansion. Learning and growing up to step out into the adult world to have a career, a marriage, family, home, more education travel, acquiring of experiences and goodies. To be a productive, contributing human being. All of you have your version of this. For me life looked like this, ….. an ever expanding ‘V’

A diamond shapeAt 60 I literally felt the V turn back on itself to begin to look more like a diamond with the top of the diamond being my eventually death. It was a jarring realization. And I knew it was time to travel lighter. Mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually.

Several years later, an article on the December Years by Reb Zalman (Full name Zalman Schachter Shalomi) explained why I felt the way I had on the birthday. 60 heralds the beginning of the last third of our lives. It’s a distinct developmental stage of life and is a time of integrating whole of our lives. No wonder it felt so big!

It’s into the exploration and discovery of this time I now focus my coaching and work. If you are wanting to walk this rich and rewarding time with awareness, please give me a call.

To a joyful 3rd Act! Mary

I have had the privilege and pleasure of experiencing this unexpected insight into my own personal and professional leadership journey with Mary as my coach and mentor. Fostering the right balance in a relationship, she centers the discussion and is able to bring forward meaningful questions that drive to the heart of the subject, yet convey a wisdom that I believe is remarkable. Mary's creative approach pulled my career, home life and creative self into a collaborative journey that was transformational for me. Thank you Mary, you are the best.

Eleanor - former Dean NAIT
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Mary Johnson PCC, Bridgeworks Consulting, Edmonton Alberta

Latest Post

Do not assume Ask

Mary Johnson - Wednesday, June 13, 2018

It's Spring. Projects around the house and cabin at the lake are in the air. And they are best served when my husband and I are on the same page. That's a no-brainer, right?! Well not for a 'knower'. Or a recovering one. A knower is someone who thinks and feels s/he already has the answer, the way is clear, no real need to check in. Ha! 

In our situation there is also a wee bit of tuff war stuff happening. We are both oldests. Two in-charge kinda folks. I like to organize what needs doing; figure out the steps,  and (from where I sit), Neil likes to just jump in. (He's an introvert and has it all worked out in his head). I see things one way and he sees things another. So I don't tend too ask because it begins a negotiating process that comes with lots of insistence, stubbornness and some ruffled feathers. It can be exhausting! 

In service of being more intentional and transparent, I have been deliberately parking my 'knower' and asking Neil his thoughts and opinions - ahead of the game vs questioning what he's doing as it's happening. I wish I could say it's made things all sunshine and roses. It's a work in progress. The tensions are less. Gaps are surfaced in each others thinking about the work that needs to be done. We hammer out our roles better before crossing swords. Our collective thinking is darn good. When something is complete we are pretty happy with the result and each other. 

Many of you have long since figured this out I am sure. I thought we had too. Being around each other wayyy more at this stage of the game has meant this process of who's in-charge of what (yes we both like to be the boss on occasion) is renegotiated one more time. If this sounds like something you are grappling with, my advice is swallow your pride, don't assume. Ask. Ask where the other person is at; what are they thinking. It is a far less bumpy ride!  

      

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